i just finished watching the final part of Amazing Race Asia.
Congratulations to Team Singapore for coming in 1st! (:
i was feeling unusually lethargic today.
i did slept a little bit earlier than i did most of the nights
but seems like that doesnt help at all.
i wonder what's wrong.
i couldnt get my butts up early in the morning for school anymore.
i mean i do but it's like practically a torture for me.
and this should not be happening especially since school starts at 9 everyday.
i have to find a solution to this.
or not i'm doomed for the whole term, or even semester.
i'm already half-doomed as it is.
yikes.
i think most of my tiredness comes from dance.
school does takes some of my energy away but aint as much as dance does.
i dont know why but this is worse than having a job.
guess i'm just not used to it thats all aye?
hopefully, things will work out real soon.
guess one of the reasons that i dont sleep well is cause i think too much.
different individuals have been telling me that over and over again.
i do know that myself. but i cant help it you see.
i'm a thinker at night, got a problem with that?
i tend to lie awake in my bed even though i feel so stoned and sleepy.
half the time i dont know what i'm thinking about.
honestly, i have this fear of having to close my eyes and sleep.
i dont know why so dont ask me to dig for some answers.
i'll tend to even stay up till the wee hours in the morning
and then i'll get comfortable to sleep.
definitely, in such scenario, sleeping well is out of the question.
sounds ridiculous enough for you?
well, thank God you aint facing the same problem as i do.
and if you do, dont worry, you aint alone.
i feel you. (:
and tomorrow, dance practice again right after school.
why do i have a strong feeling that i'm gonna be dead beat ?
wait a minute, dont i always have that feeling?
and arent i'm right all the time?
sheesh.
though school just started like, for 5 weeks,
i cant wait for the holidays.
nahh, not that i despise school or find school's a drag and all
but i really, really need a good, well-deserved rest.
i am so in need of an away vacation after this semester.
remind me to have a little talk with Daddy about this.
hmms...
and after this,
i gotta finish up the assignment for Play-Making class that i still owe Andrew.
you know, i do need someone to be by my side at times of need.
to gimme meaningful advice and stuffs.
but im still as independent as i already am.
nobody except for my parents,
should tell me on what i can or cant do,
what i can or cant wear
where i can or cant go.
i jolly well know i have restrictions set for me.
that's life, i've accepted it.
but i do know my own limits.
and like i've said before, i know myself.
i wont go on doing something real dumb to get myself in deep shit.
that'll only happen if that day,
huge amounts of stupidity decides to come knocking at my door.
and for stupidity's sake, i decided to follow suit.
*knocks head*
quit telling me to trynna control me.
i may rebel at times but i aint some loose renegade.
lemme be to explore on my own and to fall and get back up again, on my own.
allow me to have space to make mistakes and to learn from it.
cause i know, no matter how hard i try to avoid them,
shits happen. it's inevitable.
lemme be. i know what i'm doing.
just trust me.
oh, people, pardon me if i happened to not be in the best of moods.
no i aint PMS-ing. it aint the time of the month yet.
i'm just lacking of energy these days.
bear wimme. especially my tantrums and lack of patience.
especially to my crew. (:
nights and sweet dreams.
laterr.
-Love, Kae.