Sometimes...

I regretted what I've poured out.
I really do.
I dont know what on Earth was going through my mind.
There are so many things I wished I didnt do.
So many words I wished I didnt say.
So many decisions I wished I didnt make.
So many events I wished didnt happen.
So many people I wished I hadnt met.
This feelings. It leads from one thing to another.
One issue to another.

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I thank You for everything that had happened.
I thank You for people I've met along the way.
A great family, awesome & supportive friends, a loving someone close to my heart.
I thank You for being there for me whenever I couldnt sleep at night,
Whenever I couldnt handle things & cried my night away.
I thank You for being there for me to pray to, for me to pour out everything to.
Every single feeling, expression & secret that You've promised to keep to Yourself.
I thank You for always looking out for me from up above & all around,
Making sure I'm always safe & sound.
I thank You for always being there to help me battle away those trying times of my life.
I'm sorry for not always being the ideal, disciplined & religious follower.
But, never have I doubt Your presence, not even once.
I'm sorry for rebelling against some of Your rules & not following diligently to them sometimes.
But, You've never stop loving me since the day I was born
Cause You're always there to get me through those hardships I have to face.
I thank You for not criticizing me as I sit & cry.
I thank You for not making me feel all alone though there was not even a single soul to hear my cries.
I thank You for shining down Your love, Your care, Your everything on me.
I thank You for not looking down on me due to my flaws & faults.
I thank You for enlarging my strengths & talents for me to see when I need to.
I thank You for granting my wishes that really matter.
I thank You for having the faith & believe in me on things I do.
I thank You for being brave to allow me to make mistakes & to learn from them.
I thank You for being strong to allow me to disappoint You.
I'm sorry for everything I've done to mess things up for You.
To make You cry for me, to make You be angry at me.
I'm trying my best to change what I have to change.
I'm trying my best to be who You want me to be.
& I will never stop trying no matter what.
I feel so blessed with everything You have bestowed me upon with during this lifetime of mine.
I love You.
Syukur Alhamdulillah. Amin.

This is too much to ask for.
But Dear God,
I dont want to ruin any of Your plans for me.
If it's possible, please, can I have one more chance to start life again?



I need to get away for some time.
To get away. From you.