I cant get it out of my mind.
It wont even let me off in my dreams lately too.
Almost a week straight.
I had to handle it all on my own & I'm starting to feel helpless & hopeless.
Why is it everywhere I am and in whatever I do?
When I'm online, I tried my hardest to avoid it but I cant keep my itchy fingers to do things they are not suppose to do.
I would have lost it if it werent for my love ones around me to keep the sanity in me.
Maybe, I didnt follow the path that I badly wanted to choose before.
Resulting in these sudden restless moments.
Guilt. Frustration. Disappointment. Regret. Envy. Cheated.
I have absolutely no idea on how to go about solving this anymore.
I am beyond hopeless. More than what I thought.
I dont know what else to say or do about myself.
I'm so messed up right now.

I want to go have a nice haircut to neaten my hair up before raya.
After raya, I'm going to go pamper my hair somemore & maybe add a little something2 to it.
((:
Mama, we need to get started on the pineapple tarts if you dont want my feeling of laziness to come back anytime soon.
3 more days to raya people! ^^V


I thought I was stronger.
But it's still lingering around.
And the effort are all slipping through my fingers slowly.
I hate this part right here.