A few penny(s) for my thoughts:

These past few days I just realised something I've been left in denial w.
I got my chance but I left it on my own.
Cause that decision was clear-cut & I know what I should do.
Cause I know where I stand.
I've done it & I should be happy w it.
But every now & then, I missed what was before.
If there was ever a before.
All I could do now is to let it all fade away.
Cause I need to start a true story.
No more fairytale full of surprises & unbelievable events happening.
I know I can never have the fairytale ending that I want.
& for so many times I regretted closing that book too fast w/o giving it a chance to unfold it's own mystery & surprises in front of my very own eyes.
But I never did regret allowing myself to start on a true story cause that's what gotta happen.
Yes, I believe everyone has their fair share of fairytale stories kept hidden inside their hearts.
So I dont feel alone being in this situation.
I've done so much & tried so much to stop myself from opening that book again.
But it all comes back when I hear the wonderful soundtracks that's related to it.
To be reminded of it all can be... such a beautiful thing yet at the same time, such horrid tales start to unfold in my mind.
Ever so many times I found myself singing to every word that I could possibly remember in the lyrics.
& I surprised myself that I could still memorise it all after every attempt.
So what does that mean?

Nothing.

It doesnt mean anything Atika.
You know how things should go & happen. You know you do.
Be happy & appreciate whatever there is right in front of your eyes this very minute.
You gotta stop searching for answers & let them come to you when time calls for it.
Yes, sometimes the truth hurts but God will always reward you w something better in return.
Patience is a virtue & you know that too Atika.
So get on w it, close that book & try not to turn back to try opening it up again.
It's hard when the characters are all around running loose out of the book.
But it helps a lot if you believe in yourself.
I'm sure you can do it.
& for sure, your dreams are a part of the fairytale story in that book.
No matter how magical that book is, no matter how much magic there is in that book,
You know jolly well there's no such thing as real magic in life.
Go on girl, put it away now.
Let's not play w magic no more. (:

Whatever that was & whatever there is left, I'll leave it behind in my magical fairytale storybook.
As I believed, happily every after has ceased to exist in this century.
Laterr. (: